Hi guys been a while since i posted on here
hope everyone ok?
anyway here's a long story short......
split up from my girlfriend of 5 years last =Friday, she left me,
im still down in the dumps and have the odd cry. She was my first love, been together since year 10 and im nearly 20 now.
I only have my self to blame, i mistreated her by being selfish etc and after years off it she left, don't make it any easier though. i have tried everything to get her back, cried, begged, apoligised, you name it i done it. i would do anything including making her happy or die trying if she came back.
worst thing is she just stood there cold with no emotion. she says she knew this was coming and been thinking about it for weeks. so she says she already over me, she says she not interested in another relationship yet etc but if one comes along why should she not take it? this felt like a second knife wound to me. how can someone be so strong and the other completley destroyed? she is emotionless and i cant stop thinking about her.
i made mistakes with her and always knew she deserved better i just didn't see this coming. i have spoke to her on phone etc and she has basically moved on she has her own place ready to move in friday etc i cant beieve it its all happened so fast.
The worst thing is the fact that she has only ever been with me and i cant stand the thought of someone else being with her. i know this is selfish but i just cant bear it. i would say its the worst thing about the whole situation.
anyway i love her to pieces and she means world but she aint coming home i accept that. just cant move on, keep texting her etc and its making her hate me but its so hard.
only other problem is we just moved into a bigger flat which = more bills and there no way i can afford them on my own!
basically my life feels like it fallen apart and picking myself up is not going well.
anyone else lost someone after so long? or even better their first love after a long time? any advice is welcome, dont know why i put it on here but maybe someone been through it........