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Thread: And the prize for BIGGEST idiot of all time goes to.......ME!

  
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    iansimms2004's Avatar
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    And the prize for BIGGEST idiot of all time goes to.......ME!

    I have been having some boost issues with my motor and i heard a few times recently that Baileys DV's tend to leak boost. So i decided to get rid of it.

    I was having a think of a way to do a quick fix until i got a new boost pipe. I remembered the missus had a bottle of wine last night. So i thought "hmmm maybe i could use the cork as a bung" So i searched through the bin and found said cork (blossom hill to be exact) one of those ones with a bulge on one end and a flared end that usually goes into the bottle on the other.

    Dont get me wrong, i did have reservations about doing this but put them out of my mind as i thought the cork looked perfect for the job. So i went to work and fitted it. Amazing!! The cork was a perfect fit.lol. So i took the car out for a spin, all good, even did some hard accelerating and everything was good. I thought i was onto a winner here.

    At about 7pm i went to the mini meet in Wellingborough, all good with the car ran smooth and felt lovely. I was at some points worried about the cork somehow getting sucked into the engine but met the lads and had kfc and went for a little cruise around. No issues, all running smooth as silk, at this point i had forgotton about my little mod id done earlier as everything was normal. At about 10:30 myself cabriomatt and voodoocraig decided to head towards home.

    So i was pulling away out of tescos car park onto main road and got up to about 30ish i think in 2nd, when all of a sudden i heard a pop and bang!! Kind of like a champagne bottle being opened and the cork hitting metal.

    At this point the engine died and my dash lit up like a christmas tree and my heart sunk. Whilst pulling over and signalling the others i recalled what i had done earlier in the day and i had a feeling of absolute dread. I pulled over and waited for the lads to come back round.

    I immediately thought the worst and the cork had been sucked into the engine and now i had a cork bobbing round my engine block! I was seriously crapping myself at this point and was pacing back and forwards thinking about how much it would cost to fix. Then Matt and Craig turned up and i explained what id done earlier...... Then Craig thinking logically said "The cork wouldnt go into the engine as it'd get pushed out by the pressure" At this point i felt a little better. Only a little mind.

    I started the car and it started ok, no problems. But didnt want to drive it anywhere, but felt i had no choice i had to try and get it home, i went to pull off and engine died... So we decided we would push the car round the corner and then go back for my DV and fit it.

    30 mins later we came back and i fitted my DV, started the car all good, did a little bit of acceleration, not soo good, there was a horrible whine!!! I thought OHHHHH NOOOO my turbos BUGGARRED cus of the immediate loss of pressure screwed it over. The only other thing i could think of that i could've done wrong was fitted the valve tpiece for the DV the wrong way round!

    So after ten minute of praying and fiddling to turn the tpiece around i started the car, and thankfully the car didnt whine and boosted fine, it even let out a more distinctive psssstccch out the DV than it did before!

    Yes, i know im a complete imbecile and what i did was extremely bloody stupid. But we all had a good laugh once we got the car running smoothly again.

    Moral of the story, dont let me near your engine......And only use corks for what they was made for

    Let the abuse begin.......
    For free hugs PM me.

    For sex, pm cabriomatt.

  2. #2
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    li33y's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iansimms2004 View Post
    I
    . I remembered the missus had a bottle of wine last night. (blossom hill to be exact) , ....................there was a horrible whine!!! Let the abuse begin.......
    theres your problem! blossom hill - its terrible "whine"

    soz! bad, bad, bad joke!!!

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    but big high five on the temporary bodge / fix - lol am liking your style!

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    There's nothing to say to that! You could be a rogue trader! Just got images of the cork popping out haha! Pmsl but all said and done well done for the bodge, so turbo owners carry a cork with you could prove very handy
    "Its not weather you get knocked down, its weather you get back up"

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    Humm, having read your story I doubt it's all true................Blossom hill has screw top lids not corks, are you sure it was Blossom Hill she was drinking? LOL.
    Tell me what you've done, not what you're going to!

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    as said on facebook mate c size battery ftw

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    use a wheel Bolt

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    what a corker but great bit of ingenuity tho
    in the words of colin mcrae..
    'if in doubt, flat out' ...my hero
    has a plan..

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    Quote Originally Posted by li33y View Post
    but big high five on the temporary bodge / fix - lol am liking your style!
    Thank you

    Quote Originally Posted by scottyt View Post
    There's nothing to say to that! You could be a rogue trader! Just got images of the cork popping out haha! Pmsl but all said and done well done for the bodge, so turbo owners carry a cork with you could prove very handy
    haha, yeh thats the bit thats been making me chuckle all night. But i defineately wouldn't reccommend a cork for the job.

    Quote Originally Posted by K3FUS View Post
    Humm, having read your story I doubt it's all true................Blossom hill has screw top lids not corks, are you sure it was Blossom Hill she was drinking? LOL.
    lol. If you so wish i could take a picture of the wine bottle it came from? Unfortuneately i think the cork is long gone so can't use that as evidence!

    Quote Originally Posted by LOCKO View Post
    as said on facebook mate c size battery ftw
    Now you tell me!!

    Quote Originally Posted by dannysport18 View Post
    use a wheel Bolt
    Seriously, thats a very good idea!!! Wish i'd thought of that

    Quote Originally Posted by harryastra View Post
    what a corker but great bit of ingenuity tho

    ba dum schhhtt!! It was great for the 3 or so hours it lasted!!
    For free hugs PM me.

    For sex, pm cabriomatt.

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    Good sport for coming clean about it!
    From the Southeast? Find your next meet here


    The difference between intelligence and stupidity is that intelligence is limited.

    At least I have chicken!

    WellOilBeefHooked

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