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Thread: Lol wouldnt normally post but 2 conquests in one night :D :D

  
  1. #1
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    haulme's Avatar
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    Lol wouldnt normally post but 2 conquests in one night :D :D

    Maybe it was the pimms I duuno.

    Anyhow, I met up for my friends birthday, as we were all leaving I stood up

    Ooooh Joe went(female) I didnt see you like this.

    Apparantly according to her hubby Chris(a bit tubby) she has a perchant for my physique.

    So under his and her orders....albiet in extremely weird situation I try my self at swinging. I can finally say I have done this.

    That at 12:30. I leave, get the bus, at 12:50 I get to a bus stop with a few pissed polish people and me relatively sobor.

    They are hitting on a girl and I step in and say shes my girlfriend. I spend the next 20 mins waiting for a bus talking the poles out of a fight, they would like to fight me but I say no I am a "P*ssy" and they could beat me up any day. This is to the amusement of everyone at the bus stop as I am at least 2X their size.

    They finally agree to a test of strength????

    They elbow me against the elbow, I elbow them back....

    They try, then I try...

    They have sore elbows and egos...

    They then try to persuade me to stick to my routes and then ask me to recite polish(I can speak german and french)

    They recite, then I do compeletely 100% accurate.

    They finally leave, with me left with an admiring fan.

    We get the bus back together, I play it a bit cool and say listen txt me that you are back ok.

    She says ok, thanks for all your help.

    The 2nd conquest wasnt the fact I got a number, the fact I gave my ex girlfriends number to one of the pissed polish people. She told me she didnt want to have babies yet she popped one out 2 weeks ago. Biiiatch!!!

    Yay, was a great night for me.
    Drives:Mazda 6 MPS- Zoom Zoom

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    Jaynos XP's Avatar
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    You are offically a nutter! Glad you had a good night! Jxx

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    Yer...I'm nuts!!
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    Follow untouchable On Twitter
    And for todays Sunday confession...



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    I'm a tad lost....

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    Toms1989's Avatar
    Soft Top VTEC :)
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    Haha Definitely loopy!
    FULL Black Leather Heated coupe interior for sale! £200!!!
    Click Here

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    If I understand it right...pictures or it didn't happen

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    haha sounds like a good night!

    we have the drunken story and now i'm waiting for the hung over explination of this!

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    i always give my ex girlfriends number out to not very good looking girls, or 1 night stand slappers, if they are nice i give them my mates number, sounds like a good night!

  9. #9
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    Really this has to be one of the oddest group of friends I went out with.

    They have known each other years and I just know one of them.

    One of them is getting married, said to my mate, if her soon to be husband doesnt work out(bear in mind they all know each other) Ill marry you.

    OKAY....

    So anyway I wasnt talking to one group of them as they were out all the time having face tubes.

    Last orders came in we drank and went out. Then she spots me.

    I am not the most strapping chap, but she says she quite likes the look of me. then her boyfriend/husband says she likes rugby players(definite beer goggles for both). jokingly I say yeah yeah, then they say are place is near by do you want something to eat, I say no Ill get back and make something but they insist so I say ok.

    So we are back at theirs I say I could die for a rebit then then she asks me straight up in front of her fella do you want a shag, I think no way and him "Chris" says dont worry mate, we know each other.

    Then I am genuinely scared thinking he is going to watch or something then he says Ill be out for a bit around his mates house.

    His missus is about a size 14, she has a alright face reminds me slightly of a school teacher.

    I think times like these only happen once in your life. Go for it, Im like ok but I am totally unprepared(no rubbers), they have some so away we go.

    What a tale, really is something to tell my grandkids. I nip back out

    Ill explain about the polish folk when I have composed myself, I have the biggest grin at the moment. I definitely do not have the heart to tell my friend about this.....
    Drives:Mazda 6 MPS- Zoom Zoom

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    dont really know what to say to all this if im honest lol!
    ummmmm how about "well done" lol
    ONLY DRIVE AS FAST AS YOUR ANGELS CAN FLY

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