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Thread: Am I a bad parent??

  
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    Am I a bad parent??

    Ashlie related yet again

    Right, last night she went out, said she wouldn't be late in as she had work today (Sat job in the hairdressers). I rung her just before 10 last night asking her if she could come in soon...to which she replied that she wouldn't be long, she just had to walk down to the train station with some friends (about 10 mins way from home).

    So at 11pm, still no Ashlie, so I text her 'COME ON!!', no reply, so seeing as my eldest was up, I went to bed.

    Got up this morning, went to wake her up at 7.30 and just got a shaking head and a mumble from her (her friend stayed over as well), so I left her for 15 mins, then tried again. Still got a mumble telling me to go away, so I poked her a bit harder, still nothing. At 8.15 I went up yet again and told her in quite a loud voice that she had 30 mins to get ready and get to work, to which she replied that she didn't get to sleep until 3am, so I said 'well, who's fault is that?' so she said 'not mine'.

    Bollocks to it I thought, I turned the answer phone on so I didn't have to speak to her boss when she rang because I was NOT going to make excuses for her. 9am came and the phone rang (she was meant to be at work at 8.45am), so I let the lady leave a message, and ignored the flashing red light until Ashlie surfaced at 12pm. She listened to the message, shrugged and went into the kitchen to get something to eat.

    This afternoon, I told her that she wasn't going out tonight, so had better cancel any arrangements, and I just got the classic rolleyes look (those with teenagers get what I mean).

    My neighbour knocked on my door to give my dog a bone, and I told him what time she got in, and he proceeded to tell me about a rave that happened in a warehouse near the station...the penny drops.

    Kieren then tells me that she got in at 2.40am (she's 15).

    Then she announces she IS going out tonight, so we had the usual 'no you are not', 'yes I am' argument...and off she goes out the door.

    So this evening, I text her saying I am cancelling her contract phone (which I pay each month) and taking her laptop off her (her two most important possessions), and I get a text back saying 'no, don't do that, stop treating me like a 5 year old, I'm not coming home if you carry on like this' etc etc...well by now, I'm fuming, so I am going to put a stop on her phone, telling O2 she's left it somewhere and I don't want anybody else to use it (its still got about 12 months left on the contract, so I can't cancel it fully without having to pay). The laptop will be hidden at my parents.

    I text her this:

    "Make the most of your phone tonight because I'm cancelling it in the morning, and I'm not kidding. Best start saving for your Prom dress because I'm not paying the rest. Good luck at acting like the grown up girl, you ungrateful *****"

    Funny, Ive not had a reply yet...

    Sorry for the rant/super long essay, but I just don't know if I'm being too hard on her?


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    Go mel! Your right shes wrong! At least by taking her laptop and mobily off her she should learn not to take the piss!

    No your not being to hard! your being to lenient if anythink!


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    im dreading my little ones getting to teenagers lol litle boy thats 3 in aug wont be as bad i dont thing (still a pain) but dreading my little girl getting that old and shes not even born yet not due till 22nd june.
    Heading back to the world of AOC

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    Quote Originally Posted by fingz999 View Post
    im dreading my little ones getting to teenagers lol litle boy thats 3 in aug wont be as bad i dont thing (still a pain) but dreading my little girl getting that old and shes not even born yet not due till 22nd june.
    My eldest is a gem of a teenager though, he is so obsessed with his XBOX, that he very rarely goes out (except to college). I know its not good for him, but at least I know where he is

    The only bad thing is his personal hygine lol


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    Bit old fashioned, but grounded comes to mind

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    I dont have teenage children (yet) but I'm sorry leaving her out (you did go to bed when you knew exactly where she was) until near on 3am is irresponsible imho.

    You told her not to go out tonight yet she still went, sorry but it sounds like she gets her own way far to easily. Punish her how you want but its alittle to late, kick in the nuts is she will prob now lose her job and want cash off you instead. Wont get a ref or anything for a new one.

    Before anyone phlids out, she did ask for opinions, the above is mine, its not right or wrong just my opinion.

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    LN no, that's furry muff. I see your point, but ATEOTD as far as I knew, she was just walking to the station, (which she has done alot of times before, and come home) I had no idea that there was a rave there (lets face it, its not something thats usually advertised is it??) I didn't find out until today.

    Trying to ground a 15 year old isn't as easy as you think. The lappy and her phone are what her life revolves around, she will feel more punished by not having those than sitting in her room all evening.


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    You're doing the right thing Mel. You are teaching her something that she will need to learn in life. That lesson being that all your actions have a consequence, and the consequence depends on the action. If she wants to behave like a spoilt little bitch, then the rest of the world will treat her accordingly.

    She won't like it, but she needs to realise how the world works. My lot know this cos I drum it into them AND let them learn the hard way
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    phone and laptop thing i agree but the prom dress thing is harsh!! i am only 19 and remember just how important the prom was to the girls in my year plus you can never do it again so i would reconsider that one unless you really want her to go mental!lol
    good luck!
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    Prom dress can be used as a bargaining chip at this point
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