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Thread: Those on here with cats...

  
  1. #1
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    untouchable's Avatar
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    Those on here with cats...

    Not sure if you have seen this, its quite old, but still makes me laugh

    How To Give A Cat A Pill

    If you have ever tried to give a cat a pill you know
    how difficult it is. The following instructions are fool proof!

    1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm
    as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either
    side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while
    holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
    Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

    2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from under chair. Cradle cat
    in left arm and repeat process.

    3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

    4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding
    rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill
    to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

    5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top
    of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.

    6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees. Holding
    front and rear paws, ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse
    to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler
    into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

    7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
    Make a note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully
    sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set aside for gluing later.

    8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with it's head
    just visible from beneath spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking
    straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.

    9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans. Drink
    glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm
    and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

    10.Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in
    cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force
    mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.

    11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply
    cold compress to cheek and check records for last tetanus shot.
    throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

    12. Call the fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
    Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
    cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

    13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly
    to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage.
    Force cat's mouth open with small trowel. Push pill into mouth followed}
    by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint
    of water down throat to wash pill down.

    14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly
    while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants
    from right eye. Stop by furniture store on the way home to order
    a new table.

    15. Arrange for vet to make house call.


  2. #2
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    sambo123's Avatar
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    Pmsl very good

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    pmsl how true good one


    Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

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    BMC's Avatar
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    Click here if you cannot see the above video...
    04/02/71 to 09/05/09 - RIP BMC

    Brevior saltare com deformibus mulieribus est vita

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    yes .. as having 3 cats !! very true !!!! ... we have one cat called louie !!! so like this hes a little ****** lol i have lots of scars to prove it
    DaveMark

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    Haha......i hate the things

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    thats extreamly funny bets powdering it and mixing with meat or putting it in biscuits
    2000, 1.6 8v, 148k miles-156k now 160k and not far off dyeing. Oh and still growing. -There may be spelling mistakes in my posts but at least you still understand it

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