A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman were in a pub.
Y'know' says the Scotsman, 'I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks he will buy the fifth drink for you.'
'Well,' replies the Englishman, 'at my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.'
'Ahhhhh, that's nothing,' says the Irishman.'Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, and another again... All the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house.'
The Scotsman and the Englishman dismiss the Irishman's claims. But he swears every word is true..
'Well,' asks the Englishman, 'did this actually happen to you?'
'Not me meself, personally, no,' says the Irishman, 'But it DID happen to me sister.'