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  1. #1
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    tom_coupe's Avatar
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    idiots

    GCSE Answers...

    >
    > The following questions were set in last year's
    > GCSE examination in Swindon , Wiltshire. These are genuine answers
    > (from 16 year olds)
    >
    > Q. Name the four seasons
    > A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
    >
    > Q. Explain one of the processes by which water
    > can be made safe to drink
    > A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because
    > it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
    >
    > Q. How is dew formed
    > A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes
    > them perspire
    >
    > Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
    > A. The tides are a fight between the earth and
    > the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is
    > no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the
    > sun joins the fight
    >
    > Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
    > A. If you are buying a house they will insist
    > that you are well endowed
    >
    > Q. In a democratic society, how important are
    > elections
    > A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a
    > male gets an election
    >
    > Q. What are steroids
    > A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
    >
    > Q. What happens to your body as you age
    > A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you
    > get intercontinental
    >
    > Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
    > A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks
    > forward to his adultery
    >
    > Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
    > A. Premature death
    >
    > Q. What is artificial insemination
    > A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of
    > the cow
    >
    > Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
    > A. Keep it in the cow
    >
    > Q. How are the main parts of the body categorised
    > (eg the abdomen)
    > A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the
    > brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains
    > the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal
    > cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O and U
    >
    > Q. What is the fibula
    > A. A small lie
    >
    > Q. What does 'varicose' mean
    > A. Nearby
    >
    > Q. What is the most common form of birth control
    > A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a
    > condominium
    >
    > Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
    > A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
    >
    > Q. What is a seizure
    > A. A Roman Emperor
    >
    > Q. What is a terminal illness
    > A. When you are sick at the airport
    >
    > Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a
    > characteristic feature
    > A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and
    > they look like umbrellas
    >
    > Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show
    > you understand its meaning
    > A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face
    >
    > Q. What does the word 'benign' mean
    > A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
    >
    > Q. What is a turbine
    > A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
    >
    Astra Se2 coupe

    "Love it and shove it and dance around the bucket"

  2. #2
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    gissyturbo!'s Avatar
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    LOL thats quality like the farmer doing the bull and just to think that these people will be our doctors police etc in future! cant wait ha ha

  3. #3
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    > Q. In a democratic society, how important are
    > elections
    > A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a
    > male gets an election


    FAMILY SHED: VAUXHALL ASTRA 2.2 SRI
    ROAD MISSLE: HONDA CBR1000RR FIREBLADE
    TRACK MISSLE: none

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    > Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
    > A. Keep it in the cow


    I think this is pure genius! lmao so true.

    > Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
    > A. If you are buying a house they will insist
    > that you are well endowed



    Think i might enter into a house share, if those are the requirements for my partner in mortgage

  5. #5
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    > Q. What is the fibula
    > A. A small lie


    that made my day lol
    Goodbye

  6. #6
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    Some funny one's there, Can tell some of them are just a real piss take.
    Quote Originally Posted by DaveDempsey View Post
    Hey atleast MOTing your car should be a lot simpler than MOTing your EX. Replacing a worn out bush on a car is far easier.



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