The day the penis asked for a raise..........
I hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons...
I do physical labour,
I work at great depths,
I dont get weekends or public holidays off,
I work in a damp environment,
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation,
I work in high temperatures,
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
After assessing your requests and considering the arguments you have raised, we reject your request for the following reasons.......
You dont work 8 hours straight,
You fall asleep after brief periods,
You dont take initiative,
You need to be pressured and stimulated into starting work,
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift,
You dont always observe necessary safety regulations
such as wearing protective clothing,
You are unable to work double shifts,
and as if that wasn't enough you constantly enter the workplace carrying 2 suspicious bags!