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Thread: Questions to keep you awake at night........

  
  1. #1
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    Mrs Moon's Avatar
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    Questions to keep you awake at night........

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    What is the speed of darkness?

    Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at The Special Olympics?

    If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

    If the temperature is zero outside today and its going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    If its true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

    Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

    If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

    Can you cry underwater?

    What level of importance must a person have, before they consider assassinated instead of just murdered?

    If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

    Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change?...... They're still going to see you naked anyway
    Man in the sky murders 40 thousand in Tsunami.

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    huffanpuff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Moon View Post
    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
    yeah that makes my blood boil...
    My ambition is to live forever,.. so far so good

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    some very interesting points. I'll be lying awake all night now!!
    ^Click above if yae are^
    >< Proud To Be Scottish ><

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    Craig's Avatar
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    why does this shithole of a country keep getting worse and worse ?

    there is one for you
    Ibiza FR CR TDI with 203 BHP

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    One word- LABOUR!
    Astra coupe turbo 280bhp-sold
    BMW E60 5 Series M Sport

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    wayneGSI's Avatar
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    they are good some really make you think lol
    Astra GSi Turbo
    dap-performance.co.uk
    Live in the East Midlands?

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    Not gonna keep me up at night..

    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Moon View Post
    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? - Because it makes the channel change, dont care why.

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? - Because thay are thieving *****

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? - Because they are *****

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? - Because there is very little air in there and the glue needs air to dry

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? - Because of some thing all criminals have and normal people dont make use of - Human rights.

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - Because he uses a razor

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him? - Because its "Fiction" and noone wants to see superman getting twatted in the face with a gun.

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? - Because the Japs dont want a visit from the HSE.

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? - Otherwise it would be Lip and make no sense.

    What is the speed of darkness? - 186,200 miles per second same as light

    Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at The Special Olympics? - no

    If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it? - With crockery and other breakable items.

    If the temperature is zero outside today and its going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? - zero zero

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? - Because evolution has a backup plan.

    If its true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? - Sponging tax payers money

    Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? - Only seems longer.

    If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation? - No

    Can you cry underwater? - yes

    What level of importance must a person have, before they consider assassinated instead of just murdered? - Both are murder. Notiriery is what makes it assassination.

    If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches? - Its "Branch" and an administrative division of some larger organization.

    Why does a round pizza come in a square box? - Cost I would have thought.

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases? - because back then we may have been less lazy!

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours? - maybe they mean "sucked their thumbs, shit their pants and dribbled"

    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? - yes!

    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? - Why do dogs lick their balls? because they can!

    Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change?...... They're still going to see you naked anyway - Strange fetish.
    Mr Sploodge, Accept No Imitations!

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    themightyimp's Avatar
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    Why don't women have any brains?

















































































    Because they don't have a pen1s to keep them in.....

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