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Thread: How to amuse yourself in tesco's

  
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    sxi Z16xe's Avatar
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    Talking How to amuse yourself in tesco's

    How to amuse yourself in Tesco`s

    Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
    boyfriend along shopping

    This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
    Oxford :

    Dear Mrs. Murray,

    While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
    Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
    your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
    Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
    surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
    trolleys when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
    intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
    products aisle.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
    'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

    5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department
    and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages
    and a Calor gas
    stove.

    7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
    began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
    picked his nose, and ate it.

    9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
    Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
    were.

    10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
    Mission Impossible' theme.

    11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
    using different size funnels.

    12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
    'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

    13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
    the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

    And; last, but not least:

    14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
    then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

    Yours sincerely,
    Charles Brown
    Store Manager
    Disclaimer: My views and opinions are exactly that. I do not encourage or condone the actions in posts.

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    Jamee's Avatar
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    bloody brilliant mate...pmsl.
    .
    .
    SOLD Slightly tickled 175.9bhp 2.2 SE2 on 19" vxr's..

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    very good, i'll be sure to forward that on to people
    Want a professional job done on fitting your aftermarket electrical accessories? PM me for a quote
    Electrical fault finding also taken on
    Located in N/W London HA3, and willing to travel within reason





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    pmsl!! that is flippin excellent
    Why not sign up and join us.
    Become a member today

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    gotta love that.
    "You don't need eyes to see, you need vision"

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    Very Very funny, lmao
    Man in the sky murders 40 thousand in Tsunami.

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    hahaha, absolutley fantastic!!
    ^Click above if yae are^
    >< Proud To Be Scottish ><

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    12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
    'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'


    quality lol
    Quote Originally Posted by DaveDempsey View Post
    Hey atleast MOTing your car should be a lot simpler than MOTing your EX. Replacing a worn out bush on a car is far easier.



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    leeeeshad's Avatar
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    Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
    'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME! will be doing that with tools tommorow in the workshop stores nice one

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    "14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
    then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'"



    Love it mate, great post.

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