1. You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush". (Worse still you
don't go to the clubs)
2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going
clubbing the night before.
3. You stop dreaming of becoming a Professional Footballer or Top Model and start dreaming of having a Son or Daughter who might be instead.
4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property
5. All of a sudden, middle aged people are not 46, they are only 46.
6. Before going out anywhere, you ask whether there is anywhere to park.
7. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them
because they'll be all right for the DIY or in the garden.
8. You buy T-shirts without anything written on them.
9. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of the
newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving properties of
most of the things that are in it... and buy them!
10. You start to worry about your parents' health.
11. You have more disposable income, but everything you want or need to buy
costs between £200 and £500.
12. You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace and
Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your
13. Pop music all starts to sound the same and you've never heard of the
group at No.1.
14. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they do a really nice
half-bottle of house white.
(Rubbish! Who drinks half bottles?!)
15. You always have enough milk in.
16. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go clubbing,
you instead frequent trendy bars and restaurants in the mistaken belief
that you have not turned into your parents.
17. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time Team
with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in. Grand Designs also appeals.
18. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.
19. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B&Q.
20. You wish you had a shed.
21. You have a shed.
22. You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that
anymore" and "I remember when there were only 4 TV channels" and "Not in my
23. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jeremy Vine has
some really interesting guests on.
24. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus, you
tut at rowdy school children.
25. When sitting outside a pub you admire their hanging baskets.
26. You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me