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Thread: Quiz show idiots....

  
  1. #1
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    Quiz show idiots....

    DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)

    Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?
    Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue.
    Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?
    Contestant: Cartons?


    *************************

    QUIZMANIA (ITV)

    Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with 'T'.
    Contestant: Doctor.
    Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango.
    Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) . . . Doctor.

    *******************************

    BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

    Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
    Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
    Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
    Contestant: Leicester .

    ****************************

    BBC NORFOLK

    Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
    Contestant: I don't know.
    White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
    Contestant: Arm.
    White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're . . .?
    Contestant: Strong.
    White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
    Contestant: Louis.
    White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
    Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

    *******************************


    LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)

    Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
    Contestant: France .
    Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
    Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
    Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which
    country is the Parthenon?
    Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
    Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
    Contestant: Paris .

    *************************

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

    Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
    Contestant: Homosexuals.
    Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

    **********************************


    THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

    Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the Conservative Party?
    Contestant: The Conservative Party.


    ************************************


    BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

    DJ Mark: For 10 Pounds, what is the nationality of the Pope?
    Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

    ************************************


    THE WEAKEST LINK

    Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
    Contestant: Jool carriageway?

    *************************************


    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

    Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
    Contestant: Goosey?

    **************************************


    GWR FM ( Bristol )

    Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
    Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

    **************************************


    RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )

    Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ...?
    Caller: Mohicans.


    *******************************


    QUIZMANIA

    Greg Scott: We're looking for a word that goes in front of 'clock'.
    Contestant: Grandfather.
    Scott: Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else.
    Contestant: Panda.

    ******************************


    PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)

    Phil: What's 11 squared?
    Contestant: I don't know.
    Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
    Contestant: Is it five?

    ***************************


    RICHARD AND JUDY

    Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
    Contestant: Er . . .
    Leslie: He makes bread .. ..
    Contestant: Er . .. .
    Leslie: He makes cakes .. .
    Contestant: Kipling Street ?

    **********************************


    MAGIC 52 ( NORTHEAST ENGLAND )

    Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
    Contestant: Erm .. .
    Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.
    Contestant: 1965?

    **********************************


    SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)

    Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
    Contestant: Six.
    Tufnell: Higher!
    Contestant: Five.

    *************************************


    FORTBOYARD(CHALLENGE TV)

    Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word – CHED and PIT.
    Team: Chedpit.

    **************************************

    THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT)

    Girdler: I'm looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes the letter 'e'.
    Contestant: Ghana .
    Girdler: No, listen. It's an island in the Atlantic Ocean .
    Contestant: New Zealand .

    ***************************************


    NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

    Question: What is the world's largest continent?
    Contestant: The Pacific

    ***********************************


    ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

    Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
    Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?


    *************************************


    THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

    Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
    Contestant: Magna Carta.

    ************************************************** *******


    NATIONAL LOTTERY

    Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
    Contestant: Jelly.

    *********************************

    RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2)

    Allinson: What international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory?
    Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg's?

    ********************************

    BLIND DATE (ITV)

    Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen.
    Boy: Charlotte Bronte.


    *******************************


    CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)

    Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
    Caller: Japan .
    Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
    Caller: Er . . . Mexico ?

    ****************************


    NATIONAL LOTTERY

    Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing . .. what?
    Contestant: Basketball.

    ***************************************


    NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ

    Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
    Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor ?

    *************************************

    DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

    Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
    Contestant: Holland ?
    Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
    Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
    Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
    Contestant: No.

    *********************************


    PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

    Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
    Contestant: Er . . .
    Wood: It's got two syllables . .. . Kor .. . .
    Contestant: Blimey?
    Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
    Contestant: (Silence)
    Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
    Contestant: Walked?

    **********************************


    THE VAULT

    Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
    Contestant: Nostalgia.


    ***************************


    LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

    Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
    Contestant: Jewish.
    Presenter: That's close enough.


    ***************************************

    BREAKFAST SHOW, RADIO 1

    Chris Moyles: Which 'S' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
    Contestant: Ummm .. .
    Moyles: It begins with 'S' and rhymes with 'perm'.
    Contestant: Shark.

    ******************************************


    STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

    Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
    Contestant: Jesus.
    Tell me what you've done, not what you're going to!

  2. #2
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    There was one on Family Fortunes on Saturday night:

    Vernon Kay: What would you expect to find inside a budgies cage?
    Contestant: A budgie?
    Foot-loose
    Kicking off the sunday shoes since 1982
    __________________

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    That's great.

    Quote Originally Posted by foot-loose View Post


    There was one on Family Fortunes on Saturday night:

    Vernon Kay: What would you expect to find inside a budgies cage?
    Contestant: A budgie?
    Well I would!

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    yeah but wasn't that like the top answer.
    Check out my Diary ---> http://www.astraownersclub.com/vb/sh...d.php?t=157266
    Coupe making a comeback....NOV 2009

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    Lol some of those i couldn't even answer, but there are some funny ones in there!

  6. #6
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    haha i think there all class.

    My fave

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

    Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
    Contestant: Homosexuals.
    Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

  7. #7
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    gazTD's Avatar
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    Also there was this one from Are You Smarter Than A 10 Year Old on sunday (SKY 1)

    Noel Edmonds: How many countries make up Great Britain?
    Contestant: 1!

    how ******** stupid are people these days ffs
    Gaz

    No longer owns an Astra


    Bye bye VXR Castle Combe Edition - because it's done more laps of Castle Combe than most Bergs have of the Ring

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    Love the one Tees said, and "chedpit"

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    Quote Originally Posted by gazTD View Post
    Also there was this one from Are You Smarter Than A 10 Year Old on sunday (SKY 1)

    Noel Edmonds: How many countries make up Great Britain?
    Contestant: 1!

    how ******** stupid are people these days ffs
    My dad had that on and i just happened to walk out at the exact time that happened. I was shocked to say the least, someone clearly wasn't smarter than a 10 yr old

  10. #10
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    The thing is, she walked off with a grand and she never even got a question right. Used her 3 cheats.
    Gaz

    No longer owns an Astra


    Bye bye VXR Castle Combe Edition - because it's done more laps of Castle Combe than most Bergs have of the Ring

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