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Thread: Modern Day Nursery Rhymes

  
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    Modern Day Nursery Rhymes

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
    The structure of the wall was incorrect
    So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

    It's Raining, It's Pouring.
    Oh shit, it's Global Warming.

    Jack and Jill went into town
    To fetch some chips and sweeties.
    He can't keep his heart rate down
    And she's got diabetes.

    Mary had a little skirt
    with splits right up the sides
    and everywhere that Mary went
    the boys could see her thighs.
    Mary had another skirt
    'twas split right up the front
    ...But she didn't wear that one often.

    Mary had a little lamb
    her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her
    between two chunks of bread.

    Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
    Said Simple Simon to the pie man
    'What have u got there?'
    Said the pie man unto Simon
    Pies you dickhead.

    Mary had a little lamb
    it ran into a pylon.
    10,000 volts went up its arse
    and turned its wool to nylon.

    Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
    kissed the girls and made them cry.
    When the boys came out to play
    he kissed them too cause he was gay.

    Jack and Jill
    went up the hill
    to have a little fun.
    Jill, the dill,
    forgot her pill,
    and now they have a son.

    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    And planned to do some kissing.
    Jack made a pass
    and grabbed her ass
    Now two of his teeth are missing.

    Mary had a little lamb
    Its fleece was white and wispy.
    Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
    And now it's black and crispy.

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    Moffat's Avatar
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    "Pies you dickhead"
    Mk5 Astra 888 CDTI No.58
    "you can’t help but drive the 888 Astra hard, everywhere, constantly" - Evo Magazine.

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    All I can say is

    I'm like a bad penny, old, dirty, and appears when not wanted.
    Guess who's writing a victorian fantasy book. #JamesPurcell #The Diaries of James Purcell

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    pmsl!!!! comedy
    Astra Mk4 GSi in Ardon BLUE
    "HAS IT GOT BOOST"

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    i will get ellie to sing one of the ones from school an from what she gets from my office

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    Legendary!!!!

    Steve
    Astra VXD
    rburgring - 10:55

    Scottish Region

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    Follow untouchable On Twitter
    They are brilliant!!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Moffat View Post
    "Pies you dickhead"
    Good ol' simple simon
    Gaz

    No longer owns an Astra


    Bye bye VXR Castle Combe Edition - because it's done more laps of Castle Combe than most Bergs have of the Ring

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    Arden Blue Zafira Gsi

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    some funny ones there mate
    Astra GSi Turbo
    dap-performance.co.uk
    Live in the East Midlands?

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