A guy escapes from prison and goes home. His wife is standing there in the kitchen when he arrives, looking not too pleased to see him.
"And where have you been..? You escaped nearly 8 hours ago..!"
* * *
A woman is in bed with her husband's best friend. The phone rings, and the friend hears her say "uh-huh, sure, wonderful. okay. yep, thats fine. Okay then. Bye" She turns to her lover and says "That was John." The lover looks worried, thinking they're going to get caught. "Oh don't worry, he won't be home for hours. He's out playing cards with you."