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Thread: bank hol jokes

  
  1. #1
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    DAVESTURBOSRI's Avatar
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    bank hol jokes

    LAWYER: On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the farmhouse down the footpath to the cowshed?
    WITNESS: I did.
    LAWYER: And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the duck pond?
    WITNESS: I did.
    LAWYER: And did you observe anything?
    WITNESS: I did. (Witness remains silent.)
    LAWYER: Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?
    WITNESS: I saw George.
    LAWYER: You saw George *******, the defendant in this case?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    LAWYER: Can you tell the Court what George ******* was doing?
    WITNESS: Yes. (Witness remains silent.)
    LAWYER: Well, would you kindly do so?
    WITNESS: He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks.
    LAWYER: His "thing"?
    WITNESS: You know... His thing. His di... I mean, his penis.
    LAWYER: You passed close by the duck pond, the light was good, you were sober, you have good eyesight, and you saw this clearly?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    LAWYER: Did you say anything to him?
    WITNESS: Of course I did!
    LAWYER: What did you say to him?
    WITNESS: "Morning, George"
    KIK IS inkmywholebody83

  2. #2
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    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
    A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
    KIK IS inkmywholebody83

  3. #3
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    wayneGSI's Avatar
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    lmao to the first but the second is a re post i think?
    Astra GSi Turbo
    dap-performance.co.uk
    Live in the East Midlands?

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    Quote Originally Posted by wayneGSI View Post
    lmao to the first but the second is a re post i think?
    Yep the second was a repost.
    I'm like a bad penny, old, dirty, and appears when not wanted.
    Guess who's writing a victorian fantasy book. #JamesPurcell #The Diaries of James Purcell

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