Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Friday Groaners

  
  1. #1
    Status
    Offline
    Paul's Avatar
    Ex-Astra Owner
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    12,861
    Mentioned in
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    0 Post(s)

    Friday Groaners

    1. Two blondes walk into a building........ ..
    you'd think at least one of them would have seen it

    2. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

    3. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

    4. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

    5. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

    6. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
    "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

    7. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

    8. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

    9. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands.
    Police say that he topped himself.

    10. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
    Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

    11. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'.
    "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
    'Is it common?'
    "It's not unusual."

    12 . A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
    "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
    "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him".
    So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, the vet says, "I'm going to have to put him
    down."
    "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
    "No, because he's really heavy".

    13. Police arrested two kids yesterday; one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.
    They charged one and let the other one off.

    14. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search
    and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night

    15 . Terror attack in Ireland today, as the Irish alkida terrorist tried to blow up a train, apparently police boarded the train and
    found 30 paddy's glued to the ceiling! they later confirmed the device was a no more nails bomb!

  2. #2
    Status
    Offline
    LordNikon's Avatar
    AOC Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Posts
    18,952
    Mentioned in
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    0 Post(s)
    Some of those are really really bad !!!!

  3. #3
    Status
    Offline
    MK4_Estate's Avatar
    AOC Fanatic
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    303
    Mentioned in
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    0 Post(s)
    oh dear!
    www.bansheemotorsport.co.uk
    Sitting on 18s and a 50mm drop 888 Sparco interior. Tints, and body mods on the way!
    Project 35% complete.
    www.myspace.com/toupe - Check us out out!

  4. #4
    Status
    Offline
    Paul's Avatar
    Ex-Astra Owner
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    12,861
    Mentioned in
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    0 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by LordNikon View Post
    Some of those are really really bad !!!!
    Yeah i know some of them are just beyond even the jokes that your dad/grandad would tell!

  5. #5
    Status
    Offline
    johnny's Avatar
    AOC Obsessed
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    5,632
    Mentioned in
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    0 Post(s)
    the last one is hardly even a joke

    did like the heavy dog one though. giggle giggle.

  6. #6
    Status
    Offline
    spud's Avatar
    AOC Regular
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    78
    Mentioned in
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    0 Post(s)
    1) Doctor-What seems to be the problem?

    Patient-I've got cream in one ear and fruit in the other!

    Doctor-i see the problem, your a triffle deaf...

    2) Doctor doctor one minute i feel like a teepee and the next i feel like a wigwam!

    Doctor- I see your problem... your too tents!

    3) Man walks into a bar with a set of jump leads and a battery and asks for a drink, the barman says ok but dont start anythin!
    50/30 SPORTLINES, BAILEY D/V, VECCY-C PIPE, K&N FILTER, BASTUK SYSTEM WITH SPORTS CAT/POWERFLOW PIPE

  7. #7
    Status
    Offline
    AJB2K3's Avatar
    AOC Obsessed
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    3,504
    Mentioned in
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    0 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by redhotpanther View Post
    1. Two blondes walk into a building........ ..
    you'd think at least one of them would have seen it
    I posted this 3 time since registering here.
    I'm like a bad penny, old, dirty, and appears when not wanted.
    Guess who's writing a victorian fantasy book. #JamesPurcell #The Diaries of James Purcell

Similar Threads

  1. Friday Friday.................... Games and more crap
    By bigstring in forum Chit Chat and a Warm Welcome!
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 14-08-2009, 11:06
  2. PVS Friday
    By f4af100uk in forum North West and North Wales Region
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 04-06-2009, 20:35

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •