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Thread: How To Shower...

  
  1. #1
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    Lee_y's Avatar
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    Talking How To Shower...

    No clues as to where this came from

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    HOW TO SHOWER .. . . LIKE A WOMAN

    Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry
    basket according to lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see
    husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
    mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.

    Get in the shower.

    Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
    long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and
    sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it is
    clean.

    Condition your hair with conditioner
    enhanced with grapefruit and mint.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot
    facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut
    and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Turn off shower.

    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in
    shower.

    Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.

    Get out of shower.

    Dry with towel the size of a small
    country.

    Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing
    gown and the hand towel on head.

    If you see your husband along the way,
    cover up any exposed areas.



    HOW TO SHOWER . . . LIKE A MAN

    Take off clothes while sitting on the
    edge of the bed and leave in a pile on the floor.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see your wife along the way,
    shake willy at her making the "woo-woo" sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the
    mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

    Get in the shower.

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the
    water rinse it off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in
    the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates
    and surrounding area.

    Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum
    hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair.

    Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Wee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice water on floor because
    curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

    Admire willy size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on
    floor, light and fan on.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake
    willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.
    Astra 1.8 SRi, Z18XE, 5 Door, Star Silver ---RIP 18/12/2006---
    Vectra B 2.0 DTi LS



  2. #2
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    Paul's Avatar
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    old one but funny never the less

  3. #3
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    Throw wet towel on bed.
    i get into trouble for this all the time

  4. #4
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    AstraKid1's Avatar
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    "pull towel off and shake willy while making woo-woo sound" CLASSIC!!!
    "Take the time to make some sense, of what you want to say, and cast your words away upon the waves."

  5. #5
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    Follow untouchable On Twitter
    FPMSL Ive not seen that before!

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