There were three blokes talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third bloke remained quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, 'Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?'
The third fellow says, 'I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.'
The first two blokes were amazed. 'What happened then?' they asked.
'She said, 'GET OUT FROM UNDER THE BED AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!'.'
First wife: Has your husband lived up to the promises he made to you before marriage?
Second wife: Just one.
First wife: Which one?
Second wife: He said he wasn't good enough for me.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted."
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."