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Thread: Woman funnies...

  
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    Smile Woman funnies...

    Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
    The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
    The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
    They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
    She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."

    -----------------------------------------

    A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

    A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

    A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

    "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"

    -------------------------------

    It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along. She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. Now try lifting your dress up your thighs...this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy. Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, "Now, tell HIM you have a headache."

    -----------------------------------

    Two women were riding their rickety old bikes down the back streets of Rome one late afternoon. As it turns dusk, the increasing darkness starts making one of the women a little nervous. She leans over to the other and says, "You know, I've never come this way before." The other says, "It's the cobblestones."

    --------------------------------------------------

    I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider.
    Mr Sploodge, Accept No Imitations!

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    there all good

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    hehehe I agree to the Spider one
    Fastest, Most Powerful & Only Mag Featured Astra In The AOC Cumbrian Region

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    not all spiders are that bad....i dont mind tarantula's(i think there shedded skin is scarier) an the really really small tiny ones...its the ones that are a bit bigger that are horrid

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    Quote Originally Posted by tees2.2
    not all spiders are that bad....i dont mind tarantula's(i think there shedded skin is scarier) an the really really small tiny ones...its the ones that are a bit bigger that are horrid
    U dont like tarantula's yet u shrieked at that small spider on your bedroom wall!!!
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    that spider was very close to me, i never had any idea it would be right there on my bedroom wall ...died 1min later anyway

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    Quote Originally Posted by tees2.2
    that spider was very close to me, i never had any idea it would be right there on my bedroom wall ...died 1min later anyway
    1min? nah it took u at least 3mins to return to the bedroom
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turbo_Scott
    1min? nah it took u at least 3mins to return to the bedroom
    3mins....i never did, in that time it woulda ran away. I had to catch the damn thing

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    Quote Originally Posted by tees2.2
    3mins....i never did, in that time it woulda ran away. I had to catch the damn thing
    Tee - Spiderkiller.

    Peter Parker wouldnt be impressed
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turbo_Scott
    Tee - Spiderkiller.

    Peter Parker wouldnt be impressed
    peter parker is a geek!!

    Spiderman is the man

    sorry for spamin this thread btw lol

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