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Thread: The difference between Man and Woman

  
  1. #1
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    Keif's Avatar
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    Talking The difference between Man and Woman

    1. NAMES
    If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
    If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

    2. EATING OUT
    When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a £20 , even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
    When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    3. MONEY
    A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

    4. BATHROOMS
    A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

    5. ARGUMENTS
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.

    6.CATS
    Women love cats.
    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    7. FUTURE
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    8. SUCCESS
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    9. MARRIAGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.

    10. DRESSING UP
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    11. NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    12. OFFSPRING
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

  2. #2
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    good ones in there

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    nice i like that alot

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    HAHAHAHA so true
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turbo_Scott
    HAHAHAHA so true
    ppfftt...means that u think number 11 is true

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    Quote Originally Posted by tees2.2
    ppfftt...means that u think number 11 is true
    No no no ... Number 11 is only bad if when the woman wakes up theres enough foundation on the pillow to build a house!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keif
    12. OFFSPRING

    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
    LMAO a bit of wee came out with laughing!
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    PMSL at Butch!!!
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    I'm just amazed they managed to get it to fit inside 13 bullet points.
    From the Southeast? Find your next meet here


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    i know a rude version of this lol.. but as its a family thread and all that............. pm anyone?? lol



    found this too!!! soon to be on ebay no doubt lol
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