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Thread: Im a serial ***** up....

  
  1. #1
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    Phil B's Avatar
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    Im a serial ***** up....

    when it comes to women!!!!!

    i hope im not the only one and at least someone can relate...

    (man this got long.. Im at risk of sounding like a prat and I expect v few replies! but its theraputic)

    I sorta started seeing this girl, and the first few nights were great, but to be honest, we rushed into things way too fast. The origional intention was to be friends first etc etc, but would you know it... there are these funny things called lust, excitement and desire... So that plan fell on its proverbial ass.
    She clearly developed her doubts about me. she has been in plenty of relationships, and aint messing around anymore, she wants the 'one', and went into 'im gonna suss this wannabe out' mode... Thats been going on for a couple of weeks now. However, we talk a lot, and see each other a fair bit, and go out regular, have fun, get drunk, i sleep over at hers... you know the drill...

    All the while, as we have had terrific times, ive always managed to say or do something that she isnt comfortable with, or offends her somehow, and stresses our situation, usual being of a too forward manor. for example, topics of conversation you have with your mates, that should JUST be with your mates, not a girl you are trying to charm.. t'is fair enough, and we now look back and laugh, but it's been damaging all the same...

    My recent '***** up', was today...
    But firstly, a few nights ago, i stayed over.. she went to work, i remained in bed. on my way out, i decided to leave the front door lock off its latch, nip to the shop, come back with a box of chocs, and place them on her pillow for her return, then leave.. she loved this gesture, and it was a plus point to me. RESULT

    back to today (barely a few days later) - same situation. only this time i got errrr, a little carried away, and the gesture was more overblown (considerably). prezzies, more chocs, and a few other things were involved. This was an impulse thing btw. I also left a note this time.
    soon after, i felt uneasy, and a bit cringy. These unwanted feelings were justified as she text me later, expressing her uneasyness and discomfort at the gesture, saying it 'freaked her out...', 'doesnt feel right', is 'too much', and she now needs 'time'......... TIME!!.. great

    naturally, I proceeded to ram skull against wall, and curse several times loudly.
    Its fair enough... Our relationship is still in 'suss/fun' mode (at best), and it was too much.

    I should be unveiling the aspects of my personality and character that will attract her towards me, not repeatadly hammer nails into my friggin coffin!!!

    sorry for the lengthy rant, and im sure this is all petty and overdramatic to most, but im just frustrated!!!!! And this predicament doesnt seem irregular for me.
    We were starting to get closer, and things were going well. which infact prompted the 'enhanced' gesture. I really like her, and now here i am with that lovely churning feeling in my stomach that we all hate.

    foot...shot...in... - i beleive

    how long should i leave it without contact??? it will kill me waiting.. and waiting...
    any suggestions as to how I can redeem this situation, cool things down and reaffirm to her i dont want to pressure her, and to not scare her off!? say it was my long lost twin brother borris that actually did it?

    Im starting to beleive women really are from Venus, and reading their signals is like a blind ape trying to catch a cricket ball.

    if you read this far, i thank you sincerely, credit 2 ya
    Phil

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    Rob's Avatar
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    stop stalking her...next you'll be buying a bit of 2 by 4, a lump hammer and making Misery 2!

    Go and do something else which doesnt involve heavy breathing through her letterbox...

    you may find she'll contact you....go out with your friends...remove yourself from your telephone/carrier pigeon or telex or however you contact her for a bit...if shes interested/intrigued... she'll be in touch

    if not, keep on trucking...dont suffocate her though

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    well i`d tell boris that i think its nice that he buys gifts and leaves notes whats wrong with the girl its so romantic i`d pay a guy to do that for me lol

    may i ask what the note said if its not to personal

    hope its sorted soon i`m sure she`ll see that boris is a good guy and there aren`t many like that
    give boris a hug from me x


    Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

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    well first of all - u aint the first to have done that - us blokes do it a lot. i did it myself recently - trying to do the right thing. I know its an 'old chestnut' but u gotta try and just 'be yourself' the lady in question will learn to like (love) you and not some fake person ur pretending to be (all intentions good i know)

    just take ur time - let nature take its cause and time will tell literally if this relationship will work. learn to be best friends first then let the loving come later (not literally )

    as for contact....u gotta apologise pretty pronto for ur actions of late - but whatever u do - dont go buying loads of 'presents' to help u say it.
    Best of just speaking face2face. call or text her telling her u need to talk. just let it all out - tell her how u feel - dont get all lovey dovey on her - just say ur really glad how things were panning out - before u put ur foot in it - ur just happy for things to eventually be going perfectly for u and dont wanna lose her. obviously this will take time and plenty of effort but u need to assure her that over time she will be able to trust u.

    right i'll shutup now - but all u gotta do is talk to the girl!!!!

    as for reading girls minds....ur kidding aint ya!!!! This'll never happen - they're always one step ahead and always trying to suss 'us' out.

    anyway good luck and let us know how u get on..... maybe show her this page???

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    If "she wants the 'one', and went into 'im gonna suss this wannabe out' mode..." why after a couple of weeks you were staying over ( I assume u nailed her ).. Sounds to me she rather "fun" than the romantic stuff..

    Tone down the romantic stuff and see how it goes...

    Anywayz, I know nathing , been in a relationship to long
    Mr Sploodge, Accept No Imitations!

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    Give her coupel of days space dont txt her or ring her unless she contacts you if she doesnt txt her and ask if she can meet up with you and u wanna chat then if she does meet u say yur sorry for moveing to fast and scareing her and tell her it cause u like her and go from there if she says she wants to be friends then agree with it and go yur own way.

    Good luck
    Coupe turbo now with front mount

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    lol

    rob:
    I think yer exagerating things a lil there! but fair enough. Im not stalking her, not by any means. im not obsessed or devoted to her. But damn, i bloody well like her a lot, and i dont meet many like her. I think she's a girl that requires some nudging, and she may even take me cutting contact totally, for however long, a cop out. Ive no intention of suffocating her, i havnt as of yet, i dont think.

    Vauxy:
    Thanks for that, i hope she will re-analyse and come round to your way of thinking!!
    I think the problem is, she doesnt want pressuring, and she is unsure about things. In fact, I may even say she has very large doubts. I know for FACT she likes me a heck of a lot, shes said it often enough and we get on so well. But as i say, shes after 'mr perfect', and angel who can do zero wrong. That sounds crazy, and i should prolly walk away, but she relly is fantastic, and to be fair, should maybe expect a guy like that!
    Borris is greatful for the hug

    Hey Geordie:
    yep, the right intentions and the right thing, has a funny habit of being the wrong thing. I really was being myself with the gesture!! I enjoyed it, it made me feel good to think it make make her feel good/special. I would often do such gestures for any girl i like. I just seem to get confused over what is appropriate, and at what time/stage of a relationship.
    I tried ringing her ASAP, and she wouldnt answer, then the text came requesting 'time'... I was gutted she didnt answer, but i plan to ring her, or text perhaps, on sunday and ask to meet up for a drink, and i guess we'll discuss where this relationship is going and who wants what. I would rather not, as i think i know what she is gonna say, its not what i want to hear...
    I deffo wont get lovey dovey!! she would run a mile mate (at this stage).
    I think showing her this page wouldnt be a good plan. talking about her in a public forum, i think, would 'freak her out' a bit more! But i could email my words, or send a letter.

    I'll re-read this tomorrow and think 'jeeeeze suck it up princess!', but at the mo, im frustrated!!!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sploodge
    If "she wants the 'one', and went into 'im gonna suss this wannabe out' mode..." why after a couple of weeks you were staying over ( I assume u nailed her ).. Sounds to me she rather "fun" than the romantic stuff..

    Tone down the romantic stuff and see how it goes...

    Anywayz, I know nathing , been in a relationship to long
    Yea i think she wants fun (and yea i have), but also, shes not the type to lead someone on, i dont think. She can give out signals, over the space of a few days, that leads me to beleive she would love a relationship. the things she suggests, says and does. Then its the TOTAL opposite the next couple of days. Friggin nightmare!!

    Yep thats what i intend to do woolley
    anyhow, ive calmed down now, its all good. time for a beer

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vauxylady
    well i`d tell boris that i think its nice that he buys gifts and leaves notes whats wrong with the girl its so romantic
    I agree, it is romantic! I love that kind of stuff.

    What I don't get is why she's saying she wants to meet "the one" and then gets funny when you do something as sweet as that? I know not everyone likes the same things, but that confuses me

    I guess just leave her alone for a bit

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    Quote Originally Posted by p_man
    back to today (barely a few days later) - same situation. only this time i got errrr, a little carried away, and the gesture was more overblown (considerably). prezzies, more chocs, and a few other things were involved. This was an impulse thing btw. I also left a note this time.
    soon after, i felt uneasy, and a bit cringy.
    Phil
    what were these other things? i can see how if it was some of your hair she could get uneasy about the situsation...for example
    you probably just came on to hard, id give her 5 days at a push to contact you

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