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Thread: How To Treat A Woman...

  
  1. #1
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    Lee_y's Avatar
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    Talking How To Treat A Woman...

    A long one but worth the read...

    1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.

    2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard
    until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

    3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.

    4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be, repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.

    5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.

    6. recognise the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewellery is for pussies.

    7. if you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words f**k you and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

    8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard.
    when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying
    and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

    9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.

    10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.

    11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you
    don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." olly rules. way to get warm is with fear.

    12. take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when
    the parties dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

    13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?

    14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes
    home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

    15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

    16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

    17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.

    18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say no she's not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

    19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.

    20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what I'm talking about.

    21. When its raining keep asking her if she's crying. she'll say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you f**king baby. Girls like a tough man as I've already stated.

    22. Give Titty twisters and plenty of them.

    23. if you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.

    24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

    25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. then next time you know she's coming
    over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. girls actually don't like this one that much but i think it's funny.

    26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really excited. Now don't call.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I had a good chuckle at number 14
    Astra 1.8 SRi, Z18XE, 5 Door, Star Silver ---RIP 18/12/2006---
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  2. #2
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    mark-12's Avatar
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    lol me thinks some wont like these but meh!!

    i laughed at this one:

    25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. then next time you know she's coming
    over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. girls actually don't like this one that much but i think it's funny.
    Astra VXR in Star Silver - Officially the 2nd Rarest Colour

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    Number 14 had me laughing out loud in the mid of a quiet office

    14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes
    home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

    I can imagine they wont be popular all round but I didnt mean to offend anyone, jus a bit of light hearted jesting
    Astra 1.8 SRi, Z18XE, 5 Door, Star Silver ---RIP 18/12/2006---
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    pmsl some good ones there


    Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

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    lol you guys are bad there are a few sweet ones

    as jokes they are funny but if a man did that to me he wont be staying for long hehe

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    Very funny, some of them very good
    Gav Coup'e se2

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1.8sport
    lol you guys are bad there are a few sweet ones

    as jokes they are funny but if a man did that to me he wont be staying for long hehe
    No I certainly wouldnt recommend actually using any of those not if you value yer love danglers
    Astra 1.8 SRi, Z18XE, 5 Door, Star Silver ---RIP 18/12/2006---
    Vectra B 2.0 DTi LS



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    27. If you want to annoy your girlfriend during sex, just phone her up and let her listen...
    Mr Sploodge, Accept No Imitations!

  9. #9
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    LMAO Sploodge Good one
    Astra 1.8 SRi, Z18XE, 5 Door, Star Silver ---RIP 18/12/2006---
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