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Thread: new bank machine idea

  
  1. #1
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    astragsiturbo's Avatar
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    new bank machine idea

    A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
    installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to
    withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
    Customers using this new facility are requested to use the
    procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

    After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been
    developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."




    MALE PROCEDURE:

    1. Drive up to the cash machine.


    2. Put down your car window.


    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.


    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.


    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.


    6. Put window up.


    7. Drive off.


    ************************************************** *********





    FEMALE PROCEDURE:


    1. Drive up to cash machine.


    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
    machine.


    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.


    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.


    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.


    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.


    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
    distance from the car .


    8. Insert card.


    9. Re-insert card the right way.


    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.


    11. Enter PIN.


    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.


    13. Enter amount of cash required.


    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.


    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.


    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.


    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
    checkbook.


    18. Re-check makeup.


    19. Drive forward 2 feet.


    20. Reverse back to cash machine.


    21. Retrieve card.


    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
    provided.


    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.


    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off and hit the big yellow pole.


    25. Redial person on cell phone and tell them you hit a big yellow pole


    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.


    27. Release Parking Brake.
    life's to fast to go slow. so get the turbo.

  2. #2
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    ShaanK's Avatar
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    haha lol fantastic ( no offence to any female members )
    ShaanK. BMW E92 335i Msport and BMW E83 2.5i X3

  3. #3
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    Lisa's Avatar
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    How rude! I don't check my make up in the mirror cuz i don't wear any. And so what if most of us women have loads of shite in our handbags, it's how we like it
    Quote Originally Posted by Shane_SRi
    lol, you're pure quality Lisa

  4. #4
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    robokn's Avatar
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    wimmins hand bag a total mystery tardis like dimensions functional yet huge inside and full of sh*** but don't ever critisise it's your life you dealing with and you probaly bought it anyway
    The bitterness of poor quality is remembered long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.

  5. #5
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    Shelly's Avatar
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    If i ask my bf to get anything from my bag hes like - NO CHANCE, im not puting my hand in there, something will bite me or it'll get lost!
    http://img25.exs.cx/img25/864/sigshelly.jpg
    Gossard- Nike for ya bum ops: Wanna go topless!!

  6. #6
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    Al's Avatar
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    I was expecting it to be at least 50 steps, but hey, not bad

  7. #7
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    Al - Tut tut! Don't be so harsh

    I always use Kev as my handbag when we go out somewhere and i don't wanna take my bag. He gets given my car key, house key and mobelee!
    Quote Originally Posted by Shane_SRi
    lol, you're pure quality Lisa

  8. #8
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    Craig's Avatar
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    Quality
    Ibiza FR CR TDI with 203 BHP

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