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Thread: How do i get my partner back

  
  1. #1
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    tjzac's Avatar
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    How do i get my partner back

    After a long 8/9 years of an on off relationship she is determined that we are OVER for good.

    Normally she replies, but lately she is not replying to my msgs (TXTS)

    I cant live without her, and i know she cant live without me - we have 2 boys together.... everytime we break up, i find somone else, or as time goes by, she begs to have me back, now we've broken up again but i havent anyone else...

    Last thursday after a row, she stormed out of the house, never came back til Friday evening then went out again (2am Sat morning, police came round to tell me to get arrested or leave the house - i aint trusted with the boys cos of the silly texts i sent her [she knew no reply wound me up])

    Sat morning, police officer came with me to the house, she said if i wanna stay then i stay and she leaves with the boys.... and to date, she has not come back with thte boys, and she wont talk to me - nor admit that she keeps going out everynite (that is mostly the problem - i'm looking after them every nite, she keeps going out)

    so since Thursday nite when she left the house, i have not had any food - all i am living on is alcohol - i know thats not right but i am REALLY down

    How can i win her back

    I'm nothing without her and she knows it and i know it

    2 deaf boys and i was planning on proposing by the end of the year.

    Her family are local, and mine are not - in fact i only have mum and dad who i dont confide in that live in Canvey Island.. she has her cousin, mum dad brothers locally...

    i have no one... my friends are hers too - so its difficult for me to know whether she has told them her side of the story and wont hear my side (or already have decided who;'s the "goody"

    i'm a bit drunk i have to admit hence the truth coming out...

    sorry for the long rant but i needed it out of my system but i'm living on Jack Daniuels/Coke and Jim Beam/colke and carling cans.

  2. #2
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    First stop mate, get off the booze. You already know in yourself that it aint gonna do you any favours. You'll feel clearer and be able to make balanced decisions, plus it sets a better example.
    I dont wanna pry too much, and I hope ya dont regret volunteering the information so far, but the reason you have split up may play a big part as to how to get her back.

    Not replying to your texts is just spiteful though, I guess it's the only way you can communicate when your not together?

    Make the most of a little time apart, let everything cool down a bit then look at how you feel and make your next move from there. But do it all with a clear head.
    From the Southeast? Find your next meet here


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  3. #3
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    Oh hun, the worst part is always not knowing where you stand.

    Jace is right by saying don't do anything until you've cleared your head. Try to get a good nights rest, I know thats easier said than done but tomorrow is another day.
    MINXY BUTLER-HENDERSON

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    I am not going to give you advise because i have never been in your shoes. but on the mates side of things get yourself down to your local astra-sport meet and make some all the guys I have met are nice and friendly. One or two of them might live nearby and as your friendship progresses you could meet them down the pub or something.
    "If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning!!!"

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    Im going to be brutally honest...

    Think about the children in all of this, the pair of you can't drag them into this as theve done nothing wrong, you need to speak to someone and quick, dont make it any harder on yourself either by making abnyone out to be the so called 'bad guy'.

    Take one on the chin and think of the kids well being leave all the relationship stuff untill they are going to get the benefit of both parents even if its only on a part custody basis, but at least make sure its done on equal and good terms..

    ..then and only then start worrying about the relationship with the partner.. So many innocent children go through this sort of thing and it breaks my heart to see them suffer, kids are fragile and impressionable.

    I hope I havent stepped to far out of line but then you did ask for an opinion.

    oh and enough of the drink your doing yourself no favours, only you have the power to fix it..and i hope you do
    -.. . - . -.-. - .. ...- . / -- --- .-. ... . / .. ... / -.. . .- -.. ?

  6. #6
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    sorry to hear this and big hug to you

    i know this is going to sound harsh but maybe its time to face sahe may not come back this time if you have split up before maybe she has finally snapped from what you have said too i think she knows just how to play you as she knows she can leave you and then come back whenever she wants you obviously love her very much and your two sons at least you see them everynight and she hasn`t stopped that
    its hard not to text i have a friend who got into a relationship and he ended up beating her up but she still texts him most days you can`t just turn your emotions off

    GET OFF THE DRINK think of your sons they don`t wanna see daddy in a drunken state
    i hope it works out for you and i know you probably can`t see an end to all this at the moment but things will get better and you may or may not get back together but i`m sure your a lovely chap and you will again find someone to love and who loves you be it the mother of your sons or someone else

    sorry if this harsh i don`t want to upset you xxxx thinking of you and you give them boys a hug from me


    Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

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    Quote Originally Posted by tjzac
    everytime we break up, i find somone else, or as time goes by, she begs to have me back, now we've broken up again but i havent anyone else...
    In all what you said, this is the part that glared at me.

    Maybe she has had enough of you finding 'other' people... those sort of things are never really forgiven or forgotten. Maybe this time she has found someone else, hence why she is out every night and lying about it.

    Break-ups are never easy, especially when there are kids involved and as TFU said, the people that are effected most by the breakup are always the children.

    GET OFF THE BOOZE. It is your biggest enemy at the moment. If you do get the chance to speak to her, you will not have your head together enough to put things right... and if she turns up at your house, seeing you looking like a tramp isn't going to impress too much. Sort yourself out and show her what she is missing.

    Stop spamming her with text messages/calls. She is ignoring them for a reason and you just keep sending more isn't doing you any favours. From what you said, they are probably going to land you with an injuction order or criminal offense agaist your name.

    You have mutual friends.. great. Make use of them. If she won't speak to you, maybe she will speak to them. Let your friends see how much you are missing her and how sorry you are for what has happened. When they speak to your girlfriend they will pass this on. Your girlfriend hearing that you want to get back with her from a mutual person will carry a lot more weight than it coming directly from you. If you do this, don't tell your friends what to say or fake it, you will get found out.

    Good luck
    Defend Freedom. You are the resistance!

  8. #8
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    hi mate get off the drinks
    give her a few days to chill out.
    I my self had some problems with danielle a few weeks ago it ended up in court
    and her mum an dad was the cause of it even got the CSA after me they are still taking money off me every week out of my pay £241.16 this week but i will get all the money back some time in the next few weeks

    i am back with danielle after 2 weeks

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    Stop calling her an sending her text's
    get your self some legal advice mate i ended up in court after 4 days justy beacause of danielle's mum an dad hate me with a passion
    The court let me see ellie 2 days a week

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    Thumbs Up

    stop the drinking cus it aint going to get you anywhere and think of ur kids they play an important part in ur life u cant just throw them away atleast she hasnt stopped you from seeing them aswell

    another thing might sound bad but maybe shes realising that you aint the one because you did say that everytime you break you find someone else and go back to her. i mean i dont think she wants a guy thats going to different women and then coming back to her.

    give her time though you never know you might be lucky she might give you another chance but hey just remember if she does give you the chance then dont blow it this time cause there might not be another chance

    for now just give enough love to the kids and dont make them hate you - quitting the drink will help aswell
    look after your kids properly im sure she will notice that you are a good father and for your kids she needs you around

    one last thing feelings may always stay there but that dont mean that a couple want to be together for personal reasons they might prefer to stay away but feelings will stay there

    sorry if ive said too much though just dont let your emotions go in the drink

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