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Thread: Aussie ventriloquist

  
  1. #1
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    Jace's Avatar
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    Talking Aussie ventriloquist

    An Australian ventriloquist visiting Wales , walks into a small village and decides he'll have a little fun.
    Aussie: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak with him?"
    Farmer: "Don't be stupid, the dog doesn't talk"
    Aussie: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
    Dog: "Doin' all right."
    The farmer is astonished.
    Aussie: "Is this chap your owner?"
    Dog: "Yep"
    Aussie: "How does he treat you?"
    Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
    The farmer's mouth falls open in utter disbelief.
    Aussie: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
    Farmer: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I don't think."
    Aussie: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
    Horse: "Cool"
    Now the farmer is absolutely dumbfounded.
    Aussie: "Is this your owner?"
    Horse: "Yep"
    Aussie: "How does he treat you?"
    Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
    The Farmer staggers back in amazement.
    Aussie: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
    Farmer: "The sheep's a liar.
    From the Southeast? Find your next meet here


    The difference between intelligence and stupidity is that intelligence is limited.

    At least I have chicken!

    WellOilBeefHooked

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    Gazza's Avatar
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    PMSL good one jace

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    Sheep shagger
    Quote Originally Posted by Shane_SRi
    lol, you're pure quality Lisa

  4. #4
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    A young man moves to a village in Wales and gets talking to an old man from the village. He asks the old man what his name is; the old man gets very irate at this point and says: "See that line of houses over there? I built them all, but do they call me Chip the house builder? Do they hell! See those railway lines over there? I laid them all, but do they call me Chip the engineer? Do they hell! See those bridges over that river? I built them all, but do they call me Chip the bridge builder? Do they hell! But, a long long time ago, I ****ed *one* sheep..."


    shamelessly taken from scoobynet btw.
    From the Southeast? Find your next meet here


    The difference between intelligence and stupidity is that intelligence is limited.

    At least I have chicken!

    WellOilBeefHooked

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