How many men does it take to open a
can of beer?
None, by the time the woman brings it to you it should already be open.
This blond was driving on the highway and there was a trucker in front of her. She had to get into the lane that the trucker was in and she cut him off. The trucker decided she had been on the highway to long and told her to pull off to the side. The blond did this and waited until the trucker got out of his truck. He got out of his truck carrying his pocket knife. He told her to get out of her car and she did this. He ran back to his truck and grabbed a piece of chalk. Then he drew a circle and told her to stay in it. He got into her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around and looked at the blond she was laughing. He was furious, so he turned took his knife and cut out the seat belts and all the wires. Then he turned around and again the blond was laughing. Now the trucker was more furious than ever. He took his knife and slashed all her tires. When he turned around the blond was laying on the ground laughing very hard. Finally he just said. "Why do you keep laughing when I turn around?", his face bright red from anger. Through big gasps of air from laughing she said. "Everytime you turn around I stepped outside of the circle."
There were three people sitting on the roof, an intelligent man, Santa Claus and a woman.One of them falls of the roof, which one is it?
Answer; the woman because the other two don't exist!
A husband and wife were getting ready for bed one evening.
"Honey," the fellow asked, "do you want to have make love tonight?"
"No dear, not tonight," she replied.
"Is that your final answer?"
"Yes, that is my final answer!"
"In that case," he said, "may I phone a friend
How do you get a tissue to dance?
Put a little boogie in it.