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Thread: Parent Definitions

  
  1. #1
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    Vauxylady's Avatar
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    Parent Definitions

    Words that you or I would commonly use for one meaning, have a completely different meaning to parents in a family...

    AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

    BOTTLE FEEDING: an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 AM too.

    DEFENSE: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

    DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins.

    DUMB WAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

    FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you from falling into financial disaster.

    FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

    FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

    GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

    HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

    IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

    INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

    LOOK OUT!: what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

    OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

    PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.

    PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: a contradiction in terms.

    PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

    SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

    STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

    STOREROOM: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

    TEMPER TANTRUMS: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

    THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.

    TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

    TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

    VERBAL: able to whine in words.

    WEAKER SEX: the kind you have after the kids have worn you out.

    WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.

    WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".


    Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

  2. #2
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    Dani's Avatar
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    WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house. pmsl
    Addicts dont do cocaine...They merely just like the smell of it

  3. #3
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    Skipz's Avatar
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    WEAKER SEX: the kind you have after the kids have worn you out.

    lmao
    Stanceworks.com.... Low IS a Lifestyle

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