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Thread: Showering

  
  1. #1
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    Sten's Avatar
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    Showering

    This may have been posted before but i just got it in am email and it made me crack up, so true ops:

    > How to shower like a woman:
    > >
    > > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according
    > to whites and coloured.
    > >
    > >Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
    > >
    > >If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    > >
    > >Look at your womanly physique in the mirror ? make mental note to do
    > more sit-ups.
    > >
    > >Get in shower.
    > >
    > >Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
    > pumice stone.
    > >
    > >Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    >
    > >
    > >Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.
    > >
    > >Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural
    > avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.
    > >
    > >Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red.
    >
    > >
    > >Wash entire rest of body with ginger-nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    > >
    > >Shave armpits and legs.
    > >
    > >Turn off shower.
    > >
    > >Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Exit
    > Mould.
    >
    > >
    > >Get out of shower.
    > >
    > >Dry with towel the size of a small country.
    > >
    > >Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
    > >
    > >Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs.
    > >
    > >Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
    > >
    > >If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > >How to Shower Like A Man:
    > >
    > >Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.
    > >
    > >Leave in a pile.
    > >
    > >Walk naked to the bathroom.
    > >
    > >If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound
    >
    > >
    > >Look at manly physique in the mirror.
    > >
    > >Admire size of your knob and scratch your ass.
    > >
    > >Get in the shower.
    > >
    > >Wash your face.
    > >
    > >Wash your armpits.
    > >
    > >Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
    > >
    > >Make huge fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
    > sound in the shower.
    > >
    > >Aim nozzle at knob and enjoy tickly feeling as the water hits it.
    > >
    > >Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.
    > >
    > >Shampoo hair.
    > >
    > >Make shampoo Mohawk.
    > >
    > >Pee.
    > >
    > >Rinse off and get out of shower.
    > >
    > >Partially dry off.
    > >
    > >Fail to notice water on floor.
    > >
    > >Admire knob size in mirror again.
    > >
    > >Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to
    > bedroom with towel around waist.
    > >
    > >If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo
    > noise again.
    > >
    > >Throw wet towel on bed.
    Previous Astras: 1994 Cesaro 1.8 16v | 2002 SXi 1.6 16v | 2001 Coupé 2.0 Turbo | 1999 LS 1.6 16v
    Other Vauxhalls: 2001 Vectra 1.8 16v| 2003 Vectra GSi 3.2 V6 | 2005 Signum CDTi 150

  2. #2
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    sxi boy's Avatar
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    hehe seen b4! :P

  3. #3
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    LoL You got me and 3 guys here with me laughing. Good job.

    oh and a guy we don't know looking at the screen that doesn't seem to understand english very well :P

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    re: Showering

    Sooooo true!!

    nat

  5. #5
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    > >If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound

    PMSL!!!!

  6. #6
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    lol seen it before, sitll funny

  8. #8
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    Quality
    Stanceworks.com.... Low IS a Lifestyle

  9. #9
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    LOL still great to read that

    I posted a similar version before
    Want a professional job done on fitting your aftermarket electrical accessories? PM me for a quote
    Electrical fault finding also taken on
    Located in N/W London HA3, and willing to travel within reason





  10. #10
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    I brush my teeth while in the shower as well.

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