> >I, the Penis, do hereby request a raise in salary for the following
> >I do physical labor.
> >I work at great depths.
> >I plunge head first into everything I do.
> >I do not get weekends or holidays off.
> >I work in a damp environment.
> >I do not get paid overtime.
> >I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
> >I work in high temperatures, and my work exposes me to
> >Dear Mr. Penis,
> > After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
> >raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
> >You do not work 8 hours straight.
> >You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
> >You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
> >You do not always stay in your designated area and are often
> >visiting other locations.
> >You do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and
> >order to start working.
> >You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
> >don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
> >correct protective clothing.
> >You are unable to work double shifts.
> >You sometimes leave your designated work before you have
> >assigned task.
> >And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering
> >exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
> >Sincerely The Management