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Thread: Glaswegien pie (adult content)

  
  1. #1
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    Glaswegien pie (adult content)

    some of our southern friends prob wont understand half of this

    oh and Milngavie is pronounced " mul-guy"




    Glaswegian Pie
    Sung to the tune of American Pie

    A long long time ago,
    I can still remember how those weeji bampots made me laugh,
    And I know if I had a chance to see those Neds and Sengas dance,
    I'd laugh my fecking arse off once again.
    'Cos don't they realise it's not clever,
    Drinking Buckfast doon the river,
    Tucked in trackie bottoms,
    They look just fecking rotten!
    I can't remember if I cried when I saw these bams in East
    Kilbride,
    But it amused me deep inside, the day the mucker thrived!

    And they were singin'........
    Bye bye, eatin' Fray Bentos pie,
    Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
    Wearing wooly bunnets though it's nearly July
    Singin', ;There's that posh wee git fae Milngavie!;
    There's that posh wee git fae Milngavie!

    Did you write the book of sh1te
    Can I borrow ten bob, gonnae gee'za light?
    Bugger off yer full o' pis(h)!
    Oh and do you believe in hardcore techno?
    Huv ye gubbed 5 ectos fur a night at the Metro?
    And can you teach me how to speak reeeaaallll slow?!
    You can tell that she's in love wi' him,
    'Cos he's fae Ibrox and she's a Tim,
    They both kicked off their socks and manky old Reeboks.
    He was a scrawny youth with a GAP pullover,
    A sovvy ring and a stolen Nova,
    They fell in love when he muff dove 'er,
    The day the muckers thrived....

    And they were singin'........
    Bye bye, eatin' Fraye Bentos pie
    Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
    Wearing wooly bunnets though it's nearly July
    There's that posh wee git fae Milngavie!

    Now for ten years you've been on the dole,
    Hingin' aboot at the Paisley Toll,
    And that's just how it's always been.
    When the mucker screamed at the Polis van,
    In a coat he'd stolen fae TopMan,
    And a fag that came from you or me.
    But while the cop was looking dapper,
    The wee bam chibbed him on the napper,
    Dressed all in Kappa clobber,
    As he shouted, suck ma dobber!
    While wee Tam stole a shirt fae 'Mark's',
    And Boab slashed some ponce in the park,
    They all buzzed petrol in the dark,
    The day the Mucker thrived....

    And they were singin'........
    Bye bye, eatin' Fraye Bentos pie
    Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
    There's that posh wee git fae Milngavie!

    Helter Skelter, if the wean cries belt 'er
    Writing menshies on the old bus shelter,
    Eight days straight drinking Faaaaaaaaaast!
    Doin' six month for selling smack,
    The chip pan diet and the heart attack
    A night out at Archaos wi' the burd.
    The Sengas reek of cheap perfume,
    While name-tags jangle round the room,
    Each one grabs her geezzer,
    A fag and lemon Breezer.
    The lack of class is hard to hide,
    They cannae wait to get inside,
    A stair-heid winch and a door-way ride,
    That's how the Muckers thrive

    And they were singin'........
    Bye bye, eatin' Fraye Bentos pie
    Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
    Wearing wooly bunnets though it's nearly July
    Singin'There's that posh wee git fae Milngavie!
    There's that posh wee git fae Milngavie!

    You'll see them in their usual places,
    With silly hats and ugly faces,
    Ootside the offy acting hard.
    So Shug be nimble, Shug be quick,
    And get an ounce of speed on tick
    Then cut it up and sell it to yer pals.
    All lined up ootside the ****'s,
    A rainbow of exotic trackies,
    Giein' abuse tae grannies,
    Ya ****ed up bunch of f@nnies!
    And as the day turns in to night,
    The neds may gang up to start a fight,
    But on their own they're soft as sh1te
    I've made a Mucker cry!

    And they were singin'........
    Bye bye, eatin' Fraye Bentos pie
    Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
    Wearing wooly bunnets though it's nearly July ;Singin',There's that posh
    wee git fae Milngavie!
    There's thatposh wee git fae Milngavie!

    Slowly with feeling)
    I met a girl who sang 'The Sash', I asked about her pant
    moustache,
    But she just told me to feck off!
    I went down to the local chippy,
    Where the Neds hung out and the staff were nippy,
    And the muckers there harassed me for some fags.
    Baseball hats at stupid angles,
    The girls each wore three dozen bangles,
    Hair done up with scrunchies,
    Munching crisps and Crunchies.
    But the three meals they enjoy the most,
    Are chinky, chippy, beans on toast,
    Come Glasgow fair they hit the coast,
    The day the mucker thrived
    And they were singin'........
    Bye bye, eatin' Fraye Bentos pie
    Drove the Uno roon' the toon oh wi' the techno up high,
    Wearing wooly bunnets though it's nearly July
    Singin',t;There's that posh wee git fae Milngavie!
    There's that posh wee git fae Milngavie!
    Ibiza FR CR TDI with 203 BHP

  2. #2
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    Coo's Avatar
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    Better if you tape it and give us an MP3 !

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    Ok maybe I don't understand all of it, BUT what I did understand had me rotfpmsl!!!

    I'm with Coo though, can we have an mp3 version?
    Say a prayer for the fallen angles
    The future just ain't what it used to be...
    Tru's Car Portraits

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    *digs out his guitar and clears throat*
    Ibiza FR CR TDI with 203 BHP

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    Quote Originally Posted by A16VCY
    *digs out his guitar and clears throat*
    Oh no... his singing shall kill us all :P
    Opel/Vauxhall/Holden Astra SRi 2.2L
    For all your Car Audio Questions
    http://mig2.lathwood.co.uk/upload/n/nutter.jpg
    *I choose to reject your reality and substitute my own*

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    divma's Avatar
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    heard it b4 but its still quality!

  7. #7
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    Add d dave on Facebook
    heard it before too, but its still good
    Scottish Member? Have a peep at our Region For tints or wraps Click Here!!

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    im bored !

  9. #9
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    very funny, the bits i can interpret at least lol

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