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Thread: PETER KAYS UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

  
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    PETER KAYS UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

    PETER KAYS UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

    1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
    2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
    3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
    4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
    5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008
    into a calculator.
    6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
    7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
    You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have
    a fire in your back garden.
    10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
    11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
    12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
    13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
    14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball
    15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
    16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
    17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is to call
    your teacher mum or dad.
    1 The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
    19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
    20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a p**, flushed half way
    through and then raced against the flush.
    21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
    22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
    23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
    24) You never ever run out of salt.
    25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
    26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
    27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've
    got your hand or head stuck in something.
    2 No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
    29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had
    their arm broken by a swan.
    30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping
    on an upturned plug.
    31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
    32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of
    wood specifically to stir paint with.
    33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
    34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
    35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
    36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it
    in a fruit salad.


    No 31 appeals to the Mrs....
    Richie Rich - The Resident P.I.M.P
    "Pimp-Izzle-Fizzle"
    Arden Blue MK4 GSi Turbo

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    Craig's Avatar
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    every single one is true

    i think he is so funny
    Ibiza FR CR TDI with 203 BHP

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    20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a p**, flushed half way
    through and then raced against the flush.

    PMSL! Please tell me that doesn't happen
    MINXY BUTLER-HENDERSON

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    class

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    Add d dave on Facebook
    fantastic
    Scottish Member? Have a peep at our Region For tints or wraps Click Here!!

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    27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've
    got your hand or head stuck in something.

    what about when you cant see your car where you think you left it in the car park

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    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyMinx
    PMSL! Please tell me that doesn't happen
    ummmm maybe

    Quote Originally Posted by AstraG
    what about when you cant see your car where you think you left it in the car park

    I'm always doing that. it's propper horrid isn't it

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