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Thread: Beer Troubleshooting

  1. #1
    shed monster's Avatar
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    Beer Troubleshooting

    dont know if this has been posted before but it made me chukkle.

    Beer Troubleshooting

    Symptom: feet cold and wet.
    Fault: glass being held at incorrect angle.
    Action: rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

    Symptom: beer unusually pale and tasteless.
    Fault: glass empty.
    Action: get someone to buy you another beer.

    Symptom: opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
    Fault: you have fallen over backward.
    Action: have yourself chained to bar.

    Symptom: mouth contains cigarette butts.
    Fault: you have fallen forward.
    Action: see above.

    Symptom: beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
    Fault: mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
    Action: retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

    Symptom: floor blurred.
    Fault: you are looking through bottom of empty glass.
    Action: get someone to buy you another beer.

    Symptom: floor moving.
    Fault: you are being carried out.
    Action: find out if you are being taken to another bar.

    Symptom: room seems unusually dark.
    Fault: bar has closed.
    Action: confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home.

    Symptom: dashboard suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
    Fault: beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
    Action: cover mouth.

    Symptom: everyone looks up to you and smiles.
    Fault: you are dancing on the table.
    Action: fall on somebody cushy-looking.

    Symptom: your singing sounds distorted.
    Fault: the beer is too weak.
    Action: have more beer until your voice improves.

    Symptom: don't remember the words to the song.
    Fault: beer is just right.
    Action: play air guitar.


  2. #2
    divma's Avatar
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    some good ones in there

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