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  1. #1
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    Vauxylady's Avatar
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    jokes men ones

    perry sent me these


    Why do blokes have legs?
    So their brains don't drag on the floor.
    --------------------------------
    Why do blokes whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
    So they can remember which end to wipe.
    ---------------------------------
    Why do blokes need instant replay on TV sport?
    Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
    ----------------------------------
    Why do blokes want to marry virgins?
    Because they can't stand criticism.
    -----------------------------------
    How do you kill a bloke?
    Ask him to jump off his ego and land on his IQ.
    ----------------------------------
    How many blokes does it take to change a light bulb?
    As many as you like.....it'll still be there waiting to be changed in the
    morning.
    -----------------------------------
    How do you know when a bloke's had an orgasm?
    He snores.
    -----------------------------------
    How do we know blokes invented maps?
    Who else would turn an inch into a mile.
    ----------------------------------
    What's the fastest way to a blokes heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp implement.
    ---------------------
    My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said,"This will make you
    happy tonight."
    He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the
    doorknobs. He couldn't get
    back in.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
    happiest
    woman in the world"
    The woman says, "I'll miss you."
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of
    the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed
    the lawn like this?"
    "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
    --------------------------------------------------------
    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumour
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you
    really badly.
    She said - Well, you succeeded.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He said - Two inches more and I would be king
    She said - Two inches less, and you'd be queen
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    On the wall in the ladies room "My husband follows me everywhere..."
    Written just below it "I do not"
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit
    on the sofa and fart
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
    She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat *******.


    Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

  2. #2
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    ubugger's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHAHAHA, classic's!!!
    Opel/Vauxhall/Holden Astra SRi 2.2L
    For all your Car Audio Questions
    http://mig2.lathwood.co.uk/upload/n/nutter.jpg
    *I choose to reject your reality and substitute my own*

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