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Thread: technical support

  1. #1
    Craig's Avatar
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    technical support

    this is good

    Dear Technical Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow
    down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery
    applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition,
    Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5
    and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5
    0 and NBA 3.0.

    And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply
    crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
    but to no avail.

    What can I do?

    Signed: Desperate


    Dear Desperate:

    First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
    Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C: \ I THOUGHT
    YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as
    designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
    Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to
    default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a
    very bad program that will create boring Loudly.wav files.
    Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another
    Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash
    Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a
    limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
    additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally
    recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

    Good Luck: Technical Support

    Software Problem

    Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2
    which I'd used for years without any trouble.

    However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the
    only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

    To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several
    other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1.
    Successive versions of girlfriend proved no better.

    A shareware beta-programme, Party Girl 2.1 that I tried, had many Bugs and
    left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down
    completely for several weeks.

    Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time
    only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they
    caused severe damage to my hardware. Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to
    Fiancée 1.0 only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded (at
    great cost) to Wife 1.0, which I reluctantly agreed to,
    because, whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources,
    it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse2000.

    Shortly after this upgrade however I then discovered that Wife 1.0 can be
    very unstable and costly to run.

    For example, any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's
    memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I
    had forgot about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and
    E-mail porn filter, and can, without warning, launch Photostrop and
    Whingezip! These latter products have no help files and
    I have to try and guess what the problem is myself.

    Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly,
    requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments and also Hairstyle Express,
    which needs to be reinstalled every other week.

    Wife1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that also drains my resources.
    It also conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try, stating that
    they are an illegal operation. When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT
    programme it often crashes or runs the system dry.

    Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can't
    be turned off.

    Recently I've attempted to try Mistress 2000, but there could be problems, a
    friend has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of
    Mistress 2000 it tends to delete all my MS Money files before un-installing

    Any Ideas?
    Ibiza FR CR TDI with 203 BHP

  2. #2
    Vauxylady's Avatar
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    heard it before but its still very funny

    Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

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