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  1. #1
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    Vauxylady's Avatar
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    sex workout

    Having sex is yet another great past time for burning up those unwanted fat producing calories...


    REMOVING CLOTHES
    With partner's consent... 12 calories
    Without partner's consent... 187 calories

    UNHOOKING BRA
    Using two calm hands... 7 calories
    Using one trembling hand... 36 calories

    GETTING INTO BED
    Lifting partner... 1.5 calories
    Dragging partner along floor... 16 calories
    Using skateboard... 3 calories

    ACHIEVING ERECTIONS
    For normal healthy man... 2.5 calories
    Losing erection... 14 calories
    Searching for it... 115 calories

    PUTTING ON CONDOM
    With erection... 1.5 calories
    Without erection... 300 calories

    INSERTING DIAPHRAGM
    If the woman who does it is:
    Experienced... 6 calories
    Inexperienced... 73 calories
    If a man does it... 650 calories
    Add five calories for retrieving it from across the room.

    POSSIBLE INTERCOURSE SIDE EFFECTS
    Bouncing... 7 calories
    Sliding around... 9 calories
    Serious skidding... 12 calories
    Whiplash... 27 calories

    ORGASM
    Real... 27 calories
    Faked... 160 calories

    ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE
    Shoes flew off... 35 calories
    Expression didn't change... 0.5 calories
    Orchestra swelled... 6 calories
    Birds sang:
    Large birds... 7 calories
    Small birds... 3 calories
    Earth moved... 30 calories

    PULLING OUT
    After orgasm... 0.5 calories
    A few moments before orgasm... 500 calories

    PENIS ENVY
    For woman... 3 calories
    For men... 72 calories

    GUILT
    Banging your boss for a promotion... 30 calories
    Sex during a 'sickie'... 10 calories
    Bonking each other with parents in other room... 7 calories
    Putting it on your expense account... 9 calories

    AGGRAVATION
    Partner keeps showing plant... 5 calories
    Partner insists on dog cuddling during foreplay... 14 calories
    Partner just visited bathroom for 7th time... 10 calories
    Partner is taking phone calls... 7 calories
    Partner is making phone calls... 40 calories

    GETTING CAUGHT
    By partner's spouse... 60 calories
    By your spouse... 100 calories
    Trying to explain... 55 calories
    Trying to remain calm... 100 calories
    Leaping out of bed... 75 calories
    Getting dressed in one motion... 500 calories


    Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

  2. #2
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    ORGASM
    Real... 27 calories
    Faked... 160 calories

    i best start trying to fake it not


    Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

  3. #3
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    Minxy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vauxylady
    ORGASM
    Real... 27 calories
    Faked... 160 calories

    i best start trying to fake it not
    Funny I was thinking that exact same thing!
    MINXY BUTLER-HENDERSON

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    yeah me too

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    What about farting after?
    Ibiza FR CR TDI with 203 BHP

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    Quote Originally Posted by repaid1969
    yeah me too
    Funny I was just thinking the same thing
    Richie Rich - The Resident P.I.M.P
    "Pimp-Izzle-Fizzle"
    Arden Blue MK4 GSi Turbo

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by A16VCY
    What about farting after?

    1 Calorie
    Richie Rich - The Resident P.I.M.P
    "Pimp-Izzle-Fizzle"
    Arden Blue MK4 GSi Turbo

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    pmsl

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    Simon Mk:3's Avatar
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    No wonder why I'm so healthy Every thing is true when I think about it. Well most of it
    Simon Mk:3. One of the best mk:3's in the south

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