One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, think
I'll go and see my Doctor!" His friend immediately replied, "Don't do that. There's a new computer at Boots that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than your doctor.
All you do is put in a sample of your urine and the computer will
diagnose your problem and tell you what to do."
Pete, figuring that he had nothing to lose, filled a jar with his
urine, went to Boots where he found the computer and deposited his
sample and the computer started making a few noises and some lights
started to flash. After a brief pause, out popped a small piece of paper which read:-
YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW, SOAK YOUR ARM IN WATER THREE TIMES A DAY FOR AN HOUR. AVOID HEAVY WORK. YOUR ELBOW WILL GET BETTER IN TWO WEEKS.
That evening while thinking about how amazing this new technology was
and how it could change the world of medicine forever, he began to
wonder if the computer could be fooled. He decided to try. He mixed
together some tap water, engine oil from his car, a stool sample from
his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and, at the last
minute, masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to Boots, deposited the sample and paid his money. After the noises and lights, out popped a piece of paper which read:
YOUR TAP WATER IS HARD, GET A SOFTENER.
THE VALVES ON YOUR ENGINE ARE KNACKERED, GET IT TO A GARAGE.
YOUR DOG HAS WORMS, GET HIM TO A VET.
YOUR DAUGHTER IS HOOKED ON COCAINE, GET HER TO REHAB.
YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS, THEY ARE NOT YOURS, GET A LAWYER
AND IF YOU DON'T STOP ****ING YOUR ELBOW WILL NEVER GET BETTER.