Authentic Cowboy Boots
An elderly couple, Sam and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Texas. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.
Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Bessie looks him over, "Nope." Frustrated Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked, except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?"
Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow.
Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!"
To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam ... shoulda bought a hat."