John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new mink coat?" he asks.
"Not really," says Mary.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John.
"No," she responds.
"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests.
She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks."
"Well what would you like for your anniversary?" John asks.
"John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary.
"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend that much," says John.
A blind man walked into a large department store with his seeing-eye dog. When he got to middle of the store, he stopped, picked up his dog by the leash and began swinging him around over his head.
A horrified sales clerk rushed over and said, "Sir, is there anything I can do for you?"
To which the man replied, "No thanks, I'm just looking around."