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Thread: r u ready for a baby????

  
  1. #1
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    Vauxylady's Avatar
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    r u ready for a baby????

    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.


    Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.



    Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
    A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.


    Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
    A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.



    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.


    Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
    A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.



    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
    A: So what's your question?


    Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
    A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him).



    Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
    A: Whatever she says divided by two.


    Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.



    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.


    Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
    A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.



    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    A: Yes, pregnancy.


    Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
    A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.



    Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
    A: When you see teeth marks.


    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.



    SCORE
    0-4
    You are made for childrearing! Give up your day job and mind the neighborhood kids as well, just for fun!

    5-9
    You are demonstrating definite signs of the so called "nesting instinct". You may even be starting to look positively homely and be wearing fluffy slippers.

    10-14
    You are relatively normal, but may be entering the danger zone of cluckiness. Snap out of it before it's too late. Spend some time at a day care center for a reality check.

    15-17
    Congratulations! You have both feet firmly on the ground and are well aware of the dangerous pitfalls of childrearing!


    Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

  2. #2
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    kitchpoo's Avatar
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    read with seriousness and interest!!

    Jo
    why do today what you can...... I'll finish this later

    2958cc was 175BHP @ 4000rpm, 370Nm (273lb.ft.) @ 1900rpm NOW 230BHP/469Nm (344.9lb/ft)!! www.IUsedToOwnTwoAstras.com

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